So yall will have to sort of bare with me as you read this. I’m currently recovering from oral surgery and I have been in and out of consciousness all day. But after a day of sleep… I’m up, waiting on my pain meds to kick in, and I am reflecting on my life.
Over the last year, I am realizing how much my life has changed, I lost my job, I lost someone that I cared for, I have seen loved ones pass on, and I have seen myself go from literally one extreme to another. And yet part of me wonders if this is how it will always be. Will I always look back on a year and see the changes? Will only the big important things stand out in the memory of my life when I’m older, or will it be a thousand small things? Will I continue to stand firm on the word of God, or will I falter? If people are reading my life, is it a “good enough” example to show them what God is to me?
There are a million questions rolling through the deep waters of my mind. What is your plan for me God? Where do you want me to be? Where can I minister to people and help the most? What can I do to draw closer to you?
I have decided that I will never be “Good enough” to lead people to Christ, but maybe by being honest about my life, and how Jesus helps me though everyday as a sinner, maybe that will lead someone to him. I want to do good works. I don’t know God’s plan for me. I have no idea what the next chapter holds. But I know who holds it.
So why am I bogged down with the weight of this world? Why do I let the opinions of the world bother me? Isn’t Jesus the only one I should be worried about impressing? Am I not called to do goo works in his name? Am I not called to be humble, to be giving, to be loving?
“Because I know, I know he holds the future, and life is worth the living just because he lives”
So that’s it. I have no answers, and today is one of my struggling days. But I met the master of my life a while ago now… and no matter how confused I am. If I surrender my life to him… All will be well.
Peace and Love Ladies and Gents!
❤ Holly Lynn