It’s a game changer- Day 1

This year, I have set so many goals for myself. Goals to prosper, goals to change things, goals to help my future.

Last night I prayed so hard for an answer… I hoped it would come in my dreams but alas… it didn’t. So I’m leaning on the reflection that I’ve been having about my life lately. I need God. I need myself. And most of all… I need the people I love.

I have always felt unsettled, dissatisfied with my life. Like Tucker was never where I wanted to end up. Like I was missing something if I didn’t have this great big life. But honestly? Whats wrong with being ordinary? Whats wrong with saying…”Its not glamorous, its just a small place with people who genuinely care about one another”. Nothing. Why has it never seemed to be enough for me? I don’t know. But I know that right now, its where I need and want to be.

I have struggled with my career since I got laid off, I have felt out of step, constantly struggling to be happy with my work, and completely stressed out. After a lot of reflection I have realized that I am in the middle of some big life changes, they aren’t easy, but they are mine… and I’m going to own them. I’m no longer going to be ashamed that I work at a store. I work. I am able to pay for the things I need and the things I want. It may be harder than it used to be, but it’s honest work. And I am proud of my willingness to do it.

I am single. I am childless. And right now, I’m okay with that. I love kids. I love babies, but I want those things when I’m at a place that I can enjoy them and be ready for them. I don’t want them rushed, I want them, just like the rest of my life to be earned.

I have to stop comparing. I have to stop looking at other peoples lives and not thinking that because I’m not in the same place, that there must be something wrong with me. I have to love the place I’m in. The skin I’m in. I have to love the things about myself that I hide from the rest of the world.

So today I am changing the game. I don’t want to play anymore. But if life is a game, its one I’m going to win.

Let’s see how this goes,

Love ❤

Holly Lynn

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions…

As women, there are a lot of decisions that we sometimes have to make. What to have for supper, how to raise our children, to homeschool or not, and a host of other things. Sometimes though, the hardest decisions to make, are the ones that directly effect us and our relationship with God.

These last two months have been hard. Though my battles are nothing compared to that of others, and I am thankful that I was given the ones I have, rather than those that others are fighting, they are STILL battles. And I still have to fight them vigilantly.

In todays world of poverty, mass murders, and bombs going off all over the place, keeping your faith is both harder, and more important than ever. When things seem the most bleak, we often turn to Jesus for comfort, when he should have been the one were turning to from the beginning. But alas, even though we know better, we often try to “fix”  the problem ourselves and end up making it worse than it was before.

This was my case. I saw that something in my life wasn’t where it needed to be. Something wasn’t going right. Something was plaguing me. And God was directing me, I just wasn’t listening. I was ignoring that “still small voice” inside of me. I was redirecting conversations when those I loved brought it up, I was hiding my feelings, and I was lying. Lying to myself, and most importantly, to those effected by what I ultimately knew. I didn’t want to face it. I didn’t want to deal with it, I didn’t want my life to change.

I saw that change as failure. I didn’t see it as opportunity. I didn’t see it as “Gods plan”, I saw it as “Holly’s Failure”. I blamed myself, when there was no one to really blame. Sometimes our plans are changed because God sees our potential, and sometimes, we weren’t really listening to God in the first place.

So I made my decision, I made the change, and now I am in the repercussions of that change. When you change something in your life, other people are going to be hurt, upset, and sometimes angry. But if God is leading your way, the naysayers will either not be heard, or you will find that you can handle their criticism. The old saying “there are two sides to every story”, is true. You might only be hearing half the story, you might not be considering the other perspective, and if you tried to listen to why decisions were made, you might understand that there was  no other way.

I truly believe that when God takes a hold of your life, everything changes. Your fears, your doubts, your worries, your wants, your needs, and your decisions. They are all nothing without God. His scripture tells me over and over and over to lean on him, to trust him, to not fear, to not doubt, that worry is not of him, that he is not the author of confusion, that if I ask anything in his name it will be given, according to his riches in glory… and that if I need wisdom, to ask it in his name.

So while others may judge you ( or me) for the decisions we made…we have to know that when God is leading us, when god is making those decisions, we are safe in him.

 

Peace and Love,

Holly Lynn

 

It’s been a while…

Hey everyone! Sorry its been so long. I could give you a list of reasons that is a mile long and though each and every one of them would be true… the basic reason for my absence is that I don…

Source: It’s been a while…

It’s been a while…

Hey everyone! Sorry its been so long. I could give you a list of reasons that is a mile long and though each and every one of them would be true… the basic reason for my absence is that I don’t make time and that I’ve felt distant from the Lord.

I know we all go through this sometimes. We try, we pray, we get busy, we skip bible study for “just tonight” and then suddenly its 4 months later and you’ve only been to church about 10 times… I read a Meme once that said “If you feel like God is distant… guess who moved?” and that has really struck me here lately.

I’ve had a rough couple of months, from personal issues, relationship stuff, family illness, more family illness, and working 2-3 jobs… I’ve been exhausted. I’ve been lazy. I have neglected myself and my most important relationship… my relationship with my Lord and savior.

So why is it 2 am on a night when I don’ have to be up at 6 am, I only work 12 hours tomorrow instead of 15 and yet here I am, blogging instead of sleeping…

I guess it’s because I have too much to say, too many words in my brain, too many experiences that I should be sharing, too many insights that I feel it totally necessary to stay up and get it all off my chest.

Firstly, I am SO blessed. I had my entire family throughout the holiday season. Though Christmas may have been spent visiting my grandmother in the hospital, I am so blessed that the Lord is gracious and has kept her health on the upswing and that he gave the knowledge to the Doctors that attended her. I am also thankful that after 5 different hospital visits, and a weeks stay in the hospital, my sister is almost over her mono. Though at times we feel like life is testing us, its out faith that brings us through the tough times and back into the good times.

Secondly, I am Thankful. I am SO thankful for grace. I am thankful that no matter how many times I have to say to the Lord “Hear me Lord, forgive me for focusing on the things of this world before I focus on you”, he does. He lets me come back again and again. I only hope that one day I will be more worthy of his love and grace.

Thirdly, I am Under Construction. We are constantly changing and growing as human beings. Sometimes we grow in the opposite direction of those we love. Making major life changes is terrifying, but we have to first pray for God to guide us and second, we must have faith in his will for us. The book of Matthew tells us that if we ask ANYTHING in his name it shall be given according to his riches in Heaven. But we must first seek the Lord and make sure that we are in HIS will and not our own.

I have so many changes I am making this year. I’ve started to take better care of myself. I want to be healthy and this is the time to do so. Prayers for me on this journey would be greatly appreciated. I also know that more changes are on the horizon. Some I’m prepared for and some I’m not. Some I am afraid to make alone, and that is where Christ comes in as my comforter.

I have always believed that what is right is usually not easy, but when the prospect of the future is frightening to us, what should we do? Should we fear and stay rooted in one spot just because the future isn’t what we had been imagining? No. We should lean not on our own understanding, we should trust that God is faithful and will never leave us nor forsake us. I rededicated myself to my journey as a Christian tonight in church. I prayed for Christ to lead me to help those who need help and I pray for him to reveal to me his calling on my life.

My goal is to be like Ruth, to be faithful, to be strong, to trust, and to take the chances that the Lord gives me. I pray for his guidance and I ask for your prayers. You have mine.

 

All My Love,

Holly Lynn ❤

 

America the Beautiful- We the people…

It has been brought to my attention that I sometimes get to typing too fast and make the occasional spelling/ grammatical mistake… I also this evening just learned that I have misunderstood the phrase “Making Ends Meet” my entire life… as I thought it was “Meat”. – Thanks Mom and Gram… I’ll try to go a little more slowly, proof-read a little more, and I also advise you to read  Post Number 1. LOL

With that being said, I would like to get into this blog! It’s going to be a little different, but it’s still important. There will be a follow up to this in a few days, but I’m doing some research before I get into that part of it. This is in tribute… to our AMAZING America.

 

 

Today is 9/11/2016.

15 years ago today, the citizens of this country experienced an event that changed the way we viewed the world. I remember exactly where I was, who I was with, and really, every detail of that day with vivid clarity. I was a Sophomore in High School, in history class, and two of the boys in front of me were talking about what happened to the World Trade Center. At the time, I wasn’t even positive I knew what the World Trade Center was. I just knew that I, and everyone around me was terrified. We didn’t know what happened or why or what was going to come next.

I feel like we as Americans have totally and completely forgotten what that day was like, what it felt like to not know if our precious American soil was under attack. To not know if similar attacks would continue. It was terrifying. I don’t think that mere words can describe that type of fear. It’s a feeling and a heaviness that lays inside of you, you don’t know if you should cry, fight, become angry, or just get ready to hide.

But like all historic events, time has worked its magic on 9/11. We have forgotten the terror we felt that day, we have gotten back to feeling comfortable on our home soil, and we have moved on from the pain and loss those events gave us. We have forgotten the names, we have let the images slip from our minds, and we have let a dull sense of “ancient history” wash over us.

This… is wrong. We can never let ourselves forget. Forgetting shouldn’t even be an option.

We do a disservice to the men and women who died in the attack to forget their names. We let the enemies of the United States win; when we forget the horror of seeing grown men and women jump out of buildings, rather than face being burned alive or crushed. We completely dishonor the men and women who keep our nation safe by forgetting the sacrifices that  first-responder’s  ACROSS THIS COUNTRY made to find each and every victim. We destroy America by responding to our armed forces with disrespect and in some circumstances, hatred.

As I have said before, I was blessed enough to have been brought up in a small community. The type of “Mayberry” place where pride still means something. I come from a high school that led us in prayer during the 9/11 attacks. The kind of place where you were taught to have pride in yourself, in what you do, in your school, and most importantly, your country.

Say what you will about her, she may have her problems. But she is still where I would want to live. The Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. I sang these words just yesterday morning, as I was given the PRIVILEGE of singing at a Mission 22 Veterans fund-raiser. Land of the Free. Home of the Brave. We are given rights in this country that cannot be taken, cannot be pushed down, and cannot be pulled from us. We can write what we please, say what we please, worship who we please, and just in case you’ve forgotten… WE control our government… not the other way around. We elect officials. We put our trust in them, when they stop doing their jobs, its time to out them and start doing our jobs. HOME OF THE BRAVE. A home is a dwelling, a place where something usually is, or a place that one lives, according to Webster. HOME OF THE BRAVE.. A place where dwell the brave. Men and women, who, for HUNDREDS of years have sacrificed themselves for your freedoms. For your rights. For your safety. America is 240 years old… in 240 years we have seen 104 wars/conflict/invasions/interventions/occupations. This includes both World Wars, and the bloodiest war in US History… the American Civil War, where still, more men and women sacrificed so that the rights that were, at the time, given to some Americans, could be given to ALL Americans.

Make no mistake, this isn’t my political agenda… this is my AMERICAN pride. I love this country. I love everything about America, from cowboys to apple pie… I’m as American as they come. When I see or read about or hear anyone speaking ill of my country, disrespecting my flag, or choosing to not respect my National Anthem, I get ANGRY. We are one of the greatest nations in this world… and we are crippling ourselves. We need to stand up, dust off our American pride, band together, and take back our country. We need to get her back to former glory, albeit with a modern twist. Lets pull back our industry, lets stop making others rich and start investing in our country, in each other…. lets stop letting hate divide us and start standing together… like we did 15 years ago.

It’s a terrible thing when it takes tragedy to unite people who have so much to be grateful for.

God Bless America.

America the beautiful.

1 Corinthians 1:10- “Now I beseech you brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and there be no divisions among you, but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgement.”

Please feel free to share!

God Bless America and God Bless You!

❤ Holly Lynn

 

 

 

Forgiveness and accepting an apology that never comes…

In this world of fast-paced lifestyles, computers in our pockets, selfies, social media, and the hordes of other things I could mention, its really easy to get so wrapped up in living  day-to-day that we forget how to live the life we were given. We forget that each of us is called to do something special, and something that only we can do, for Gods glory! ( PS. This living life thing is why its been about 3 months since I last blogged.)

But in a world that is mostly centered around ourselves, our families, our jobs, our wants, and our desires… where does OUR God fit in?    We get so busy making a life, keeping up a life style and trying to have what everyone else has, we forget that we are on a journey that is uniquely ours. It is what God has in store for us. It is our plan, our path, and at times, our burden to carry.

I am fortunate enough to be from a small little community nestled in the mountains and valleys of West Virginia, a place of about 7000 people in the whole county, one stop light, one  high school, and about 80 + Churches. I know people from all walks of life. I have seen those with lots of faith, lose it. I have seen those with little faith, grow to become seekers of the Lord and his word. I have also seen miracles. I know an amazing young woman who right now is battling cancer, yet she still holds on to God with all she has, knowing that he is the one who is fighting the battle with her. I have seen a community come together in times of need… fires, floods, super storms… people who care enough about their neighbors to hold cake-walks, spaghetti dinners, benefit sings, and any number of  other fund-raisers to show that we as a community hold fast to ” Love your neighbor as yourself”.

But… do we?

Do we love our neighbor as ourselves when we find petty things to fight about? When we hold decade old grudges? When dislike the woman who stole our boyfriend in freshman year? No. That is where we fall short.

So why is forgiveness so important?

Matthew  6:14 says “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you”.

The Lords Prayer ” Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”

Mark 11:25 ” And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins”.

See, we HAVE to forgive others. Its a requirement. Its HARD. Its humbling. And it’s Christ- like.

The book of Luke ( 23:34) tells us that Jesus said ” Father forgive them, for they know not what they do”

I’m going to take that scripture personally for a minute… Jesus, had MY sins on him when he was on that cross… mine. ” Father, forgive her, for she knows not what she does”.  I was in church from the time I was a 4 days old, and still, I have sinned, I have fallen, I have contributed to the cost that Jesus had to pay. I did that. I, knowing who Jesus was, and what he did for me, and how much he loved me, I still denied him. I still rebelled against him, I still was part of the reason that he was crucified.

And he has FORGIVEN me. He went to bat for me. He asked his father in heaven to forgive me. And YOU. Take that scripture, take then ends of all of the four gospels and read about his sacrifice. Read about his death. Read about his torture. Read about the mocking. And then ask yourself….

What is my problem forgiving others? Why am I holding on to hurt? Why am I so quick to throw a stone when someone wrongs me? Why am I not holding on to one of the core values of what it is to be Christ- like?

Because I am selfish.

That’s the only possible answer. I’m selfish. I care more about my own feelings, my own hurt, and my own pride than I do about grace. I expect grace to be given to cover my transgressions, but I will not show grace to my transgressors.

Well personally, this is something I’m striving to change in myself. I have worked on forgiveness a lot. But there is always, and will always be room for improvement. Do I have the faith, the grace, the brotherly love to forgive those who will never apologize? Do I have enough  of Christs love in me to forgive the unthinkable? When someone hurts my pride, do I have enough Jesus in me to be humble, to be kind, and to forgive?  I sure hope so.

In my life, I have had to forgive lots of times. I have had personal battles, I have had to fight my personal demons, I have had to forgive people who have wronged my loved ones. I had to accept that some people are not going to like me, or what i say, or what I do. And that’s up to them. But its up to me to love them. To show them kindness, to eat humble pie now and then, and to give more love than I receive.

I encourage you to find the scriptures on Christs love and sacrifice, to search and seek the scriptures on forgiveness, and to pray for those who wrong you, they may need it the most.

“Always be Kind, Everyone is fighting a battle you know NOTHING about”

 

Peace and Love yall!

❤ Holly Lynn

 

 

Are YOU a good example?

 

This post is going to step on your toes… and MINE.

Are we good examples of what it is to be Christians? To be Christ-like? Are we showing newly saved Christians how to be CHRISTIANS?

Most of time, if we are honest with ourselves, the answer is going to be a BIG FAT “NO”.

Do I fail God daily? Yes. Do I mean to? No. Do I WANT to? Absolutely no.

Christ DIED to save me. The son of God, came to Earth to become a man, to be tempted as all men are and he still lived a PERFECT life… and then sacrificed himself for me.

That is TREMENDOUS! What a gift!!! What an incredible, undeserved, AMAZING gift!!!

I was reading in Titus the other day and I came across some scriptures that truly moved me! Titus 2:5-7 “5 Not by works of righteousness which WE have done, but according to HIS MERCY he saved us by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost. 6 Which he poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our saviour. 7 That being justified by HIS GRACE , we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.”

So our imperfection was made perfect by Christs sacrifice. Not because we are a good person, not because we are kind to others, not because we are giving… and definitely not because we are deserving… but because of Christs MERCY!!!

So back to my original point. Are we good examples of Christians? Even though we all fall and come short of God’s glory… there is still hope for us to become good examples of Christ-like Christians… because the Bible tells us EXACTLY what to do!

Titus 1:15-2:8 tells us exactly how we, as the Church are to behave, how we are to treat other Christians, how we are to teach our youth, how we are to behave as the Church. One example that I particularly liked was “2:3- The aged women likewise that they be in behavior as becommeth holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; they they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children…” Don’t even get me started on women tearing other women down, but isn’t this EXACTLY how elder members of the church are to be an example of being Christ-like to the younger women?

The Bible also gives us instructions AGAIN  in 1st Peter chapter 3.

The Bible tells us EXACTLY how to behave. Tells us exactly how we are to act. Exactly how God wants us as Christians to act.

 

So the next time a “Sinner” who sins differently than you comes into your church… Embrace them. Show them love as Christ would. Teach them how to be a Christian, not only though your words, but through your actions as well. TELL THEM what their sins are, and make sure that they understand that the price of sin is DEATH. Calling sin out as sin isn’t being judgmental. You aren’t condemning the person to hell, you are telling them what the Bible calls SIN. Jesus told the adulterous woman “Go forth and sin no more”… So why do we get hung up on pointing out our sins and the sins of those we love. Tell them, and then love them while they change, and HELP them to become more Christ-like. You just might become more Christ-like yourself in the process.

 

Peace, Love,Hugs, and Happy Birthday America,

❤ Holly Lynn

My Best Friend of 16 years, Marcy and I! 

How Big Will You Let God Be Today?

So I’m going to ask y’all a question that was posed to us at revival tonight. God is great… but how great is he to YOU?

This really got me thinking. Do I limit God? Do I ask him for help, and then tell him exactly I want him to handle it? Yes. Yes I do.

I find myself asking God for help and for guidance and then limiting him on what he can do and how he can help me.

Have you ever asked yourself when reading the bible”Wow God did some awesome stuff back in the day, why doesn’t he still work miracles like that now?”?  I know I have asked that question… but do you think that its maybe our faith that is whats lacking and not Gods power?

Do you have the faith to step out and ask God for what you want? Are you willing to accept the consequences of your prayers? Have you considered that God maybe DID answer your prayer…. only not in the way you expected it, so therefore you thought he ignored you? Again, I know I have. When my uncle passed away in 2003 I wondered why God didn’t give him ( a very faithful, God fearing man) his healing that he just knew God was going to deliver, my Mom however never faltered in her faith, she just said that it was God’s will. Through discussion we have worked it out that God DID in fact give him his healing, it just wasn’t here on earth.

So when we pray, are we asking God to do HIS will, or are we just praying for God to do things our way.

There is a scripture that I hear quoted in church all the time, it says to “Lean not on your own understanding”. Meaning, don’t try to look at what you can see of the big picture and understand it, when God can see the ENTIRE picture and understand much more that you do.

I like the football analogy. You’re the guy who runs the ball up the field, you’re at the 20 yard line… You see a small opening, and its the only one you see, so you take it and you get the first down…. and you’re all excited right? But God is the guy in the Good Year Blimp, and he could see that there was a clear opening, all the way to the end-zone if you had just went left instead of right…

That’s the difference between Gods understanding and ours. I really think I should copyright that analogy by the way, but that’s neither here nor there… Why should you settle for a first down, when what you want is a touchdown? If My way gets me the first down but Gods way gets me the touchdown… I want God’s way.

That’s why we have GOT to stop limiting God. We have to pray. We HAVE to seek him in every decision. We have to look to him to guide us… and then we have to actually do some work too. He can get us the path, but we have to be the ones to run it down the field.

As we seek him, we should be asking what HIS will is for us, we should ask to walk in his will, in the truth of his word, and in the light of what he is. I want God’s plan for my life, and if that means I take a completely different path than the one that I have planned… so be it. To truly belong to God, I have to surrender myself. I have to become a servant of him and of what he wants for my life… and then, I have to listen and obey.

Sounds easy but its way harder to actually do than it is to talk about doing. So that the goal for the rest of this week and the rest of my life. During my prayers tonight I asked God to help me to stay in his will for my life and in his plans for me. Seeking him and submitting to him is the first step for me.

 

Thought? Opinion? Questions? Comments? Hit me up!

Peace and Love Y’all!

❤ Holly Lynn

Questions and no answers…

So yall will  have to sort of bare with me as you read this. I’m currently recovering from oral surgery and I have been in and out of consciousness all day. But after a day of sleep… I’m up, waiting on my pain meds to kick in, and I am reflecting on my life.

Over the last year, I am realizing how much my life has changed, I lost my job, I lost someone that I cared for, I have seen loved ones pass on, and I have seen myself go from literally one extreme to another. And yet part of me wonders if this is how it will always be. Will I always look back on a year and see the changes? Will only the big important things stand out in the memory of my life when I’m older, or will it be a thousand small things? Will I continue to stand firm on the word of God, or will I falter? If people are reading my life, is it a “good enough” example to show them what God is to me?

 

There are a million questions rolling through the deep waters of my mind. What is your plan for me God? Where do you want me to be? Where can I minister to people and help the most? What can I do to draw closer to you?

 

I have decided that I will never be “Good enough” to lead people to Christ, but maybe by being honest about my life, and how Jesus helps me though everyday as a sinner, maybe that will lead someone to him. I want to do good works. I don’t know God’s plan for me. I have no idea what the next chapter holds. But I know who holds it.

So why am I bogged down with the weight of this world? Why do I let the opinions of the world bother me? Isn’t Jesus the only one I should be worried about impressing? Am I not  called to do goo works in his name? Am I not called to be humble, to be giving, to be loving?

“Because I know, I know he holds the future, and life is worth the living just because he lives”

 

So that’s it. I have no answers, and today is one of my struggling days. But I met the master of my life a while ago now… and no matter how confused I am. If I surrender my life to him… All will be well.

 

Peace and Love Ladies and Gents!

❤ Holly Lynn

 

 

 

Thoughts and Reflections…

As the title hints, this post is probably going to ramble. Oh well.

Today and well, lately in general, I feel extremely vulnerable… I feel like I’m sitting still and the world is swirling around me and I am weak and exposed….

“In Christ alone, my hope is found, he is my light, my STRENGTH, my song… This cornerstone, this solid ground…”

I know that my strength is found in the Lord.

But right now, I feel like I am lost… Like I cant get my prayers through… Like every single time I say a prayer.. it hits 2 feet above me and bounces right back.

I don’t really know what to do about this except to keep praying, and keep holding on to faith that God is in control and that no matter what happens, he has my best interest in mind.

As I’ve said in other blogs, I feel like sometimes I give my problems to God, and then I still worry about them. Which is just like giving them to God and then taking them back… Which is pretty typical of me. I worry more than the average person. I worry when life is going to smooth, I worry about everything… now a few moths ago I posted about how I wasn’t worrying anymore and how God had delivered me from that, but I got right back into it when I stopped walking as strongly in God as I had been.

Now I’m right back where I started. I’m worrying. I’m praying, and I’m asking God to help me… and he does, over and over and again and again God helps me. I’m facing a lot right now. I’m vulnerable and confused, and I need some guidance, and I need a lot of help making the right decisions for the future. I feel like I’m at a crossroads right now and there are 3 ways to go. But which one to choose. I thought that escaping to the beach would give me some answers but it didn’t. At all. So friends… remember me in your prayers as you are in mine….

Peace and Love <3,

Holly Lynn